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My book, It's Not Just You, Making Sense of Life and Thriving After Growing Up in an Emotionally Dysfunctional Family, is an Amazon Bestseller.
It's Not Just You is for people who were left confused by things that happened and things that were said within their family. People who have spent their lives seeking the unconditional love, emotional attachment and support they needed as children.
Filled with insight and compassion, this book gently guides you through a path of making sense of your life and healing with practical suggestions on speaking up, seeking help, connecting with "your" people, getting to know your nervous system, setting boundaries, and bringing self-compassion into your life.

Available from Amazon all around the world in paperback and on Kindle, from other online retailers and to order from many independent bookshops.

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This is a must-read book for anyone who's at the beginning of their healing from emotional trauma, written by someone with immense insight, wisdom and compassion, who has found the route out of her complex PTSD, and wants to shine the light for others.

It's packed with excellent tips and tools.

I wouldn't hesitate in recommending it.

Lou Lebentz, Trauma Specialist



This book was another on my list for work but it felt like a warm drink on a rainy day and nothing like work!

The gentle, compassionate tone of this books feels really important given the subject covered and the pace has a gentle, inviting and curious feel to it.

I work with a lot of people who have experienced relational trauma and when I pick up books like these I ask myself "would I share this with a client to help them on their journey?"

This one is a solid YES from me.


This book is a must read for anyone who is trying to make sense of the pain and hurt that comes from being raised in an emotionally dysfunctional family.

Victoria gives her compassionate insights and lived experiences from her own healing journey, to help others who are on a similar path.

A validating reminder that "it's not just you".

Catherine Asta, Psychotherapist

I highly recommend this book for anyone suffering from the trauma of growing up in a dysfunctional family and believing they were the problem, not their family.It is a heartfelt account of a journey to reality and healing, and how it was achieved. A must read for anyone who constantly tells themselves they're not good enough...bombarding themselves with negative messages that do not belong to them.

Patricia Heyland, Psychotherapist

"I’m not sure how she manages to hold your hand with her words, but bloody hell Victoria does exactly that!

She holds your hand and makes you feel safe. Beautifully written and you know instantly that you’re in good hands...

So many powerful messages and too many to mention all my favourites, but the one that stuck with me is “start with a whisper".
Whoa! Powerful.

We can’t say what we want to say, it’s often so buried, swallowed down and hidden (even from ourselves), but Victoria shows us how we can start small, with a baby step.
When you’re ready, start with a whisper.

Warm, gentle, wise and impactful.

A book for anyone who has been in this situation.
Coaches and therapists will benefit from the deeper understanding and support they will be able to bring to their clients.

Thanks for bringing your words to the world. Emotional and moving and not without pain but filled with optimism and expectation of a brighter today and tomorrow (one step at a time).

Lorna Dunning, Coach


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